Step 1- Buy her pizza.
Step 2- Make her cum.
Step 3 - watch your weak ass relationship fall apart after six weeks when you realize you both have the personalities of an unwashed cheese grater
- me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!
- me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad
- me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive
The graffiti reads: “I could only afford to buy a spray can and write: Happy birthday, son. I love you.”
you’re so cute I just wanna hug you and kiss you and cuddle with you and also fuck you but hey man it’s whatever
one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared
becoming a parent means being the one to get the wasp out of the room and idk if i’m prepared to do that
THIS IS A PSA
THIS APP IS CALLED SAFETREK AND IS ABSOLUTELY INVALUABLE TO ANYONE WALKING ANYWHERE WHERE THEY DONT FEEL SAFE
YOU ENTER YOUR INFO AND SET A PIN AND THEN WHENEVER YOU DONT FEEL SAFE, YOU HOLD DOWN THE BLUE BUTTON UNTIL YOU DO
ONCE YOU RELEASE THE BUTTON, YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO ENTER YOUR PIN, AND IF YOU DONT THE POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR LOCATION AND DISTRESS CALL
I TRULY BELIEVE THIS APP CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE SO PLEASE DOWNLOAD IThttps://itunes.apple.com/us/app/safetrek/id716262008?mt=8
signal boost the shit out of this
THIS IS AMAZING SPREAD THE WORD